On my Tagged Hp is a mEgo. Visit http://beta.mego.com/member/Mo7ex for more information about myself.- Qute:
Me in a conversation with my shrink about psychoses:
Me: So... u say I didn’t hear that keyboard play at the middle of the night in a church when I stood there smoking a joint with my friend, u even say that my friend didn't hear it.
Shrink: That’s correct, it was all an illusion. A mind trick, but I do think we need to give u medication for this.
Me: So let me rephrase myself to see that I am correct in this. U say I didn’t hear it while clearly me friend even heard it cause he was with me, I was there, he was there, but I didn’t see u? So u say I didn’t hear something while u weren’t actually there yourself. Damn u are good doc. How do u do that? I will tell u how. U don't. U want to give me medication cause I hear things that aren’t there, I propose to u to take some medication yourself for illusion ideas like thinking u know something happened when u actually never were there or didn’t spoke to anybody that was there, clearly u can’t know if I heard that or not if u weren’t there. I think u need some medication doc, because u as a professional knows how crazy u are then.
Then I walked out the door, made a new appointment for the next month, and live went on.
I like all food; I had study’s for cook for 2 years. (This is actually really true) but when they started making lobsters I left. That was too much. That my teacher dropped some cigarette ash in the soup from time to time (this is really true) or when he bite of a little chunk of a piece of meat (to see it was the right length baked; medium, raw, hard) and threw the other half back in the frying pan.(and yes this is shaming full also really true) but when those lobsters were boiled they started to make a noise. I was not on level 6 of my craziness that time so it couldn’t be imaginary and clearly everybody else heard them. They were cooked alive and that’s why they made a sound. They say its cause of the fact that they are shrinking cause of the boiling water, but when u don’t know that it’s like they are screaming. Our cook told us the other thing. But he lying bastard. I heard what they screamed. It was free me! So I say FREEDOM to all the lobsters and start cooking crab goddamned. U don’t hear them complain.
In the morning I start easy with a 8 pack of high-priced beer which I can lend in a shop around the corner. They always friendly and wait long time before they come see me when I am in the store. I have proven already that they also were nice enough not to put a surveillance camera in there. They are very nice people and I lend many things that I use in my every days life there. Like drinks, the subjects we are talking about right now. After that 8 pack it’s been enough for a bit. I know I am crazy but alcoholic? Nah I am not alcoholic. So after that 12 pack, I go to the shop again. No more beer cause I am not alcoholic, so I lend some expensive wine from 14°. I can’t take 12 bottles because that would prove I am alcoholic cause I already took 12 bottles of beer, so I only take 10 of the big bottles and 10 of the little ones. Just to be sure I am not violating any rules in the law of alcoholism. Then home I drink those during the coming hours. Many, many so many hours pass before I go to the shop again to buy more liquid, this is the best liquid of the day and those two and an half hours that I need to wait cause of the fact I'm drinking wine, those many, many, so many hours are terrifying so I get up and I get the best there is. I can’t drink beer anymore neither wine, so I take some whisky bottles. Once again I can’t take more than 10 now so I take only 8 of them, 8 bottles of white vodka, 8 bottles of black vodka, 8 bottles of red vodka, and last but not least 5 bottles of orange juice and 2 bottles of multivitamins juice (I get tired of that taste quick). Home again I start drinking and drinking and eventually I will fall asleep. Then when in the middle of the night, normally around 2 I wake up I start drinking again because I don’t want any left over’s when I will wake up in the morning. So I make sure that every bottle is empty and go back to bed. An hour later my clock radio starts beeping and I wake up and do the very same thing. Those are my favorite drinks.
My friends have a place further on the road which I live on. They serve fantastic food like rats sharpened in taste with wash powder in some mustard sauce. They have nice plants to there. Sometimes we smoke those plants and that’s nice cause then we are so hungry that it actually doesn’t matter when the rat is not fully cooked yet and still moves a bit. We love those plants. The name of that restaurant is: The Back Alley. It’s actually also its location. And it actually isn’t really a building it are just a bunch of chairs and tables with candles on in that alley. Sometimes they hire a violin player; that brightens the place up sometime. But the last violin player got robbed when she was playing. The previous one was stabbed death, and the one before that one became crazy and threw herself of a bridge. Poor girl, she never really understood my friends (the owners) when they asked her to take her clothes of and dance around while she was playing her violin so at one day my friends just burned her clothes. While she had them still on. That crazy girl should have started rolling over the ground, but no, she jumped off a bridge into a lake that was pumped empty that morning. Such a stupid girl, better off without her I like to think. And another thing, those friends (the owners)? Those aren’t real. I made them up.
Yeah those things are spooky. I read these things always in the newspaper and magazines and they always are right. It’s amazing. I read them and immediately after I read them I go execute them. And yes it always happens like the magazines say. At one point I was in a Zoo kissing a Lion while I was rubbing his tail. He didn’t like that... I sued that magazine cause of that horoscope. Not cause of what they wrote but cause of the fact that they knew it and didn’t warn me about it. They told me in the magazine yeah, but who believes that crap. I only believe it for sure when I see it so I go execute it. A warning had have been nice. When I read: Love: Today in the zoo u will find a nice person which with who u will spend nice times ending them with a kiss. This person will be totally wild of u and u will recognize it in the crowed by its wild behavior towards others. You will see that this person surely is the leader of the group and that all other persons around this person will be the followers. So I walked into the zoo and the only thing that I saw that was being wild and that I saw being a fearsome leader to others was that lion. So I putted it to the test that this was the love of my live. Earned a nice million damages claim from that magazine. Thank u. Keep writing nice dumb horoscopes like those.
I tried many styles out. I started out with the gay style when it came up. Visited some gay bars but nah it wasn’t anything for me. They all gay. They don’t even dare to put a piece of metal the size of a governments building door (I like to think they are bigger), up their ass. If u are inviting everyone in there u might as well put a door in it to close it before it gets windy in there. That would be a problem. They couldn’t take the pressure when I captured a few of them over time in different bars and hung them up in my No-Escape harnesses from ACME. When the door was only one cm in their ass with the point of one corner, they already screamed for their momma. And the door even was still closed. If u want to be gay then do it the right way. So that wasn’t the style for me. Then I discovered that even dumb people like The Terminator man who has risen from a pile of dust into our reality. I think it’s a machine and that he eventually will take over the earth. But that machine has no brains and it still succeeds in getting in politics. So I once tried that to and I came far. But then they asked me if I could make some money clean for them and I said yes and took the money. At home I threw the money in my washing machine and waited while it did his work. The very next day I invited the cops over cause I needed to be sure if it was clean enough and I asked them if the money was clean enough, if they still saw it was dirty money or clean money. They asked all kind of questions like where I worked and I answered all of them because maybe then they finally would answer on my question and if it was clean enough I would maybe get a promotion. I was already so happy by the thought of that. Then they took the money all of a sudden and told me they were going to my boss and talk to him. So I went to the kitchen and gave the cops the bill of the washing powder and asked them if they could include it by the money for by coming expenses. I got fired after that so that wasn’t my style either. Then I went in the Mafia style. Somehow washing money white on your working papers attracts that line of work. It all went good, I almost found a style I could get crazy in until I murdered the Don. After that I left that country and moved to Belgium and decided that wasn’t the style for me either. Then I saw a new dancing style; Tectonic and I started to be Tectonic. But when I went out to the clubs I always got beat up by people who said I hit them. I was fucking dancing dude, try to keep up with the modern ages. But saying that only made them beat me more up until I broke every bone in my body. I was in the hospital for a long time and I had time enough to decide if this was the style I wanted to have. I decided to search on. I since then on didn’t follow any style anymore and just started to be who I was. That’s my style I guess. And I am good at it.
Best names I've come up with for pets, plants, people, cars ... whatever:
I am glad we are going to talk about some of my friends now. One of them is my neighbor’s car. It's a pickup truck. When I met him he almost driven over me. But he didn’t, he just bumped me and smashed me against the tree breaking every bone in my body. I was in the hospital for a long time again and I got a get better card from my neighbor’s address. On it there was a picture of a drawn pick up car smiling and with the text I wished I didn’t hit u, hope u get well. So I saw the car didn’t hit me on purpose and that it felt bad that it hit me. Since then it’s my best friend cause of how sweet I thought that was. I gave him the name Stop. Because that’s what I yelled when I first saw him. Another friend is my football. I met him on an International World Championship where they were hitting him like crazy. I saw those crazy wild primal fools hurting that poor little ball so I took of my clothes (the voices told me to do that, I wanted to say that to the judge but my lawyer didn’t think it was a good idea. Sucker, it probably would have saved me) and I jumped over the gates while striking a cop on the head with my d*ck . I started running towards the ball but I saw the ball had allot of enemy's that were in a conspiracy against him when I looked over my shoulder while running. A bunch of, hooligans is what I like to call them with those shirts of the soccer teams that were playing, like they knew the dudes on the field, yeah right. I just needed to make sure they wouldn’t catch me because the baseball bats in their hands looked dangerous. There was a bad look in the eyes of those baseball bats. Like they could start swinging any moment in those hands. So I grabbed my Magnum and blasted them all to soccer heaven. That calmed them down and everybody started to run away. I made my way to the ball then and picked him up. I called him Fuck Off because I think that was his name. They all yelled Fuck Off when I was trying to catch him to distract and confuse him if I should yell his name. So when everyone started yelling his name; Fuck Off, I call him Fuck, he would look at them and roll over to them, but cause of the fact they all yelled that at the same time he didn’t know what to do and just kept itself on one place on the ground. Poor Fuck. I love Fuck the most of all the world!!!
Then I met a nice banana. It has a disease I think. Like Michael Jackson has only its getting blacker and blacker instead of whiter. It also loses some parts if u try to move him so I let him be where he is. It was my ex girlfriends best friend. She always said it was her best friend. She said it could give her many things I couldn’t give her so I thought it was a pretty cool banana for taking care of those things. The relationship became nothing but my friendship with Anal the banana will stay forever. I didn’t made that name up, my girlfriend always said it was an anal thing of her when I asked for more explanation. If I could have named him, I named him hmmmm... Joe. Joe the banana. Then we have my other friend and that’s a chimpanzee. I met him at the zoo. He actually saved me from that lion (which I had some adventures with too like u know if u have read the "My Horoscope" section) So I took him home. All of a sudden the monkey fell out of the sky on the lion pushing it of the cliff we were up. I am a romantic soul and during my date with the lion I had put some nice burning candles around the little clif were we were chatting about all kind of normal things in live, so when the lion fell of that cliff it fell in a pit of fire. I forgot to clean up the dry leaves there. Yeah everybody makes mistakes all right? So that sweet monkey saved my butt and when I saw 3 men with guns coming towards us I knew I needed to save that monkey. So I jumped over the gap, over the gates with that monkey in my shoulders and ran as fast as I could. At the entrance stood allot of people that worked in the zoo. I don’t know how they knew about it, but they knew about it if u know what I mean. It seems u can’t be private nowhere outside your house so everybody knew already what I was doing in a matter of minutes. People like to talk u know? But it wasn’t a problem for me. I grabbed the monkeys arm with on hand and started swinging it around while I ran towards those people to exit the zoo. Those people looked surprised at me and laughed at each other while taking their shields out and holding them before them. When I was in a very short range of the group I let the monkey go. It went up like 45° and hit the big Welcome Board of the zoo. It was big. The name of the zoo stood up there and which was: zoowiththebiggestnameoftheworldsoyoubetterneverevergetthisboardontopofyour-headoryouwilsuffergreatbraindamageifnotimmidiatlyfollowedbydeath. The board dropped and I and zoowiththebiggestnameoftheworldsoyoubetterneverevergetthisboardontopofyour-headoryouwilsuffergreatbraindamageifnotimmidiatlyfollowedbydeath the chimp went on to my home. I called him after the place I got him. I liked that name. Another "friend" is Busy. Sometimes I call people up and I want to know there name first so I say that I want to do a conversation about something they never seen before for a price of 1.000000000 €. I say it’s pricy but that its worth allot. I like to see my friendship as something very valuable but I can’t tell them about friendship because I just phoned him or her up & that would be very weird. So I say it like that. Then they always tell me they are Busy. Then they hang up. I never get further then the name by those people. They irritate me. Then we have my imaginary friends. One of them I named Naughty. Cause he makes me do bad things most of the time, the other time he only makes me break things, that’s when he is in a good mood. Another imaginary friend again then is Fire Maker. He always puts everything on fire. Everybody thinks it’s me that does it, but I know who it is. It’s my friend Fire Starter. Great to invite and make your house sparkle at night. Another imaginary friend is Sex. I saw her hanging at a sex shop so I thought she worked there. She also has a nametag on her shirt with her name on and there stands Sex. We are good friends. We sometimes play hide and seek but then I don’t find her anymore. Then I go true the park, or government building lobby room, or restaurant (anywhere where I start boring myself I play hide & seek with Sex and I never find her) screaming here name out. Sex! Sex! I yell, harder & harder. My search for her always ends up in the police office. I explain them that I am looking Sex, but they say it isn’t funny. I never said it is funny, I never find Sex. U think that’s funny mister cop? U think that I like the fact I can’t find Sex. That I am always looking for Sex everywhere and can’t find Sex anywhere. U think that’s funny??? It’s frustrating that I can’t find Sex goddamned. I see u still have your friend called Sex, wait till u lose her or him, see how u talking then mister I- am- so- big- with- my- gun- and- my- hat. I declare carrot war to u!
I am going to stop talking about my friends because many painful memories come into my head on the moment. But they are all as great as the ones mentioned here. They are the best friends in the world and we form a group called: Village people. I named it after a band I saw on television and I liked their costumes very much. I have a name for them too: weallshouldbeinamentalinstituationcauseofthefactthatweliketolooklikecompleteidiotson-stageandliketomakeupdanceswhereuneedtobedrunkashelltoperformthemrightbutweare-whoweareabunchofcrazyf*cks!
A paper bag with holes cut in. Then I go ring the door and when they open up I yell: Give me your fucking money or I will kill u bitch. Then they sometimes give money but sometimes they also get mad and start yelling at you. Then the point has come that I need to show him that it’s Halloween, so I take of the paper bag and say: Happy Halloween muthaf*cka! Revealing my face that I can genetically rearrange with a device I have in my living room (I like to call it the Power of Humanity Box. Thank u little Chinese boy named Yung which I saw in a dream and gave me the pictures of the blue print of it. It comes in use allot). People ask me a lot why I don’t change my face then. But who says I haven’t already done that? I have a perfectly generated head with one eye in the middle with a snake eye in it then. No nose no holes ( I use my ears to breath), and a big mouth full of sharp teeth which I give him the chance for to fully inspect them in detail. Mostly after a few bites they give money, but some of them are hard ones I need to say...
I watch bird allot. I watch and keep looking at them when they sit still. I keep looking then if it moves or stays sitting still for about a half hour. When it flies away I search for another bird and do the same & if it stays sitting I bring out my BB-Gun and shoot that bird off that stick. If u are on my property longer than 30 minutes without introducing yourself then u have no right being on MY property. And my property is transportable too. When I go outside this rule comp lays to every single living AND death bird in the surrounding of 923.25 Foot of the center & a circling all around my body full 360°. Those are allot of birds. I can assure u that... I once repaired a car to. I saw there was something wrong with the engine so I took the engine out of my lawn mower and putted it in the car block. It wouldn’t work so I kicked the piece of shit and went to a shop. There I bought, just to be sure, 2 shave sets. I thought 1 would be enough but to be sure I bought 2. Then I went back home; on foot... while I had a car...Fuck! No not u Fuck, not u... Once home I I took the engines out of both shave sets and connected them to the lawn mower engine. That worked for approximately 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 17 hours 32 minutes and 03 seconds. Then it blew up. I stopped repairing cars then.
